As we are in Graced-moments of our Oblate Triennium I hope and pray that the District gatherings take up
regularly the faith-sharing on the proposed themes seriously and lead the members to a deeper renewal.
We also look forward to our annual gathering for deeper time with the Lord and with one another in November 2015.
September also reminds many of us of the Birth of Mary and the many celebrations and pilgrimages.
Happy to share with you a few thoughts of mine in and through the readings from Rev Ron Rolheiser OMI,
the renowned International Oblate columnist and writer on Meaning and Happiness in this issue of BORN.
(Rev Ron Rolheiser - Website:www.ronrolheiser.com)
Am I happy? Is my life a happy one? … Am I happy in my job? Am I happy with my church? Am I happy inside my own skin?
Are these good questions to ask ourselves? No. They're questions with which to torture ourselves.
When we face our lives honestly this kind of question about happiness is more likely to bring tears to our eyes
than solace to our souls because, no matter how well our lives are going, none of us live perfectly fulfilled lives.
Always there are unfulfilled dreams. Always there are areas of frustration. Always there are tensions.
Always there are deeper hungers that are being stifled. And always, as Karl Rahner so poignantly puts it,
we are suffering the torment of the insufficiency of everything attainable as we are learning that here in
this life there is no finished symphony. Are lives are always lived in quiet desperation.
A lot of times it is not easy to feel happy.
But we are asking the wrong questions. The question should not be: Am I happy?
Rather the questions should be: Is my life meaningful? Is there meaning in my life?
Is there meaning in my marriage? Is there meaning in my family? Is there meaning in my job?
Is there meaning inside my church? We need to ask the deep questions about our lives in terms
of meaning rather than in terms of happiness because,
for the most part, we have a false, over-idealized, and unrealistic concept of happiness.
We tend to equate happiness with two things, pleasure and lack of tension.
Hence we fantasize that for us to be happy we would need to be in a situation
within which we would be free of all the tensions that normally flood into our lives from:
pressure, tiredness, interpersonal friction, physical pain, financial worry,
disappointment in our jobs, frustration with our churches, frustration with
our favorite sports teams, and every other headache and heartache that can appear.
Happiness, as it is superficially conceived of, means perfect health, perfectly fulfilled
relationships, a perfect job,
no anxiety or tension in life, no disappointments, and the time and money to enjoy the good life.
But that isn't what constitutes happiness. Meaning is what constitutes happiness and meaning isn't
contingent upon pain and tension being absent from our lives: Imagine if someone had come up to Jesus as
he was dying on the cross and asked him the question: Are you happy up there? His answer, I am sure,
would have been unequivocal: "No! And today in particular I am not happy!" However, the perspective is quite different if,
while on the cross, Jesus would have been asked this question: "Is there meaning in what you are doing up there?"
There can be deep meaning in something even if there isn't happiness in the way we superficially conceive of that.
We more easily grasp this when we reflect back on various periods of our lives.
Looking back, from the perspective of where we are today, we see that sometimes certain periods
of our lives that were fraught with all kinds of struggles and within which had to make do with very
little were indeed very happy times. We look back on them now with fondness and warmth.
They were meaningful times and our present perspective washes back through time and purges
the pain and highlights the joy. Conversely, we can also look back on certain periods of our
lives when there may have been pleasure in our lives but that phase of our lives now appears
clearly as an unhappy time. We look back at it with a certain
heaviness and regret. What seemed like light then seems like a time of darkness now.
Where we end up ultimately in terms of meaning will determine whether our lives have been happy or unhappy.
Many people, including Jesus, suffered great pain but lived happy lives.
Sadly, the reverse is also true. Happiness has a lot more to do with meaning than
In his autobiography, Surprised by Joy, C. S. Lewis tells his readers that his journey
to Christianity was not an easy one. By his own admission, he was "the most reluctant convert
in the history of Christendom." But one of the things that ultimately brought him around to the
Christianity was precisely the realization that meaning trumps our normal conception of happiness.
He came to understand, he writes, that the harshness of God is kinder than the
softness of man and God's compulsion is our liberation.
Money can't buy happiness. It can buy pleasure, but, as life itself eventually teaches us,
pleasure is not necessarily happiness.
In the Spirit of Conversion willed by the 35th General Chapter we will enter into third year
of preparation as well as the 200th year of Oblate Charism in the service of the
poor in the Church on 25 January 2016. May I call upon the District Superiors an Oblate
gathering in your district on 25 Jan 2016 in the best way
you might plan to celebrate in Happy and Meaningful ways